Mormons for America?

From our man in Boston – As the clock winds down on the Bush presidency, with all the baggage he has accumulated, thoughts begin to turn to the next President of the Americas.

The next election, in 2008, has its host of big names jockying for position. Perhaps the two most established names are Hilary Clinton and John McCain.

While both of these ‘front-runners’ will no doubt spend a power of money, Hilary with her ability to offend everyone over a long enough time-scale, has little chance of securing any real national powerbase outside of feminist lobbying groups.

John McCain has almost but not quite run for President so many times now that one could almost script his withdrawal. Fever pitch will have been reached when you hear one being touted as the other’s vice-president.

One man who is being quietly touted about is the Republican Govenor of Massechusetts, Willard “Mitt” Romney. Seriously, people actually call him Mitt. 

State Governors in America are an odd breed. Arnold “No Nickname Needed” Schwarzenegger rules California with the iron fist of democratic mandate, and in 1998 Minnesota elected a professional wrestler named Jesse “The Body” Ventura, again that is his real name. 

While the name Mitt Romeny alone would seem insufficiently bizarre to propel him to state governorship on its own, he does have one other claim to fame; he is a fully paid up member of the Santanaria of Latter Day Saints: Gov. Mitt is a Mormon.

Now the RCC has given more than a little press to the lads of Utah and their wacky ways, but it bears pointing out that Gov. Romney does not subscribe to polygamy, nor is he a member of Warren Steed Jeffes’ congregation. Mr. Romoney is a mainstream Mormon and abandoned all aspirations to mutli-spousal hanky-panky some hundred years ago.

Well, he didn’t personally do it a hundred years ago obviously, that was the prophet of the Mormons, Mr Brigham Young (again that is seriously his name), Mr Romney is just towing the party line.

Having declared he will not be seeking re-election as Governor, he seems to have cemented his intention to run, and his early whispering campaign might be frighteningly serious.

While little Ms Clinton will only provide new fodder for offense and polerisation as the contest looms closer, Mr Romney will just continue on being Mormon and sadly that will only get so many column inches.

The plan is to get people to start laughing now, and come election day 18 months hence he will seem positively tame compared to the foaming lefty candidate the Democrats will field.

Those of us on the orthodox side of the religious fence may shudder a little at the credo-baptising, faith-healing, guns’n’mullets Christianity espoused by Bush’s supporters, but at least he doesn’t think the third testament is written on plates of gold and buried in upstate New York.

Mormonism is easy to mock. Well, no its not – I keep trying and anything I say always seems to be gilding the lily. The point is, Mormons are very difficult to take seriously, but it is now dangerously possible that the two options facing America in 2008 will be Mitt “Bring’em Young” Romney and Hilary Clinton; the only person on record favouring post-natal abortion.

Mormonism might be a joke, but its about to stop being funny.


2 thoughts on “Mormons for America?

  1. Capt.

    If it a choice between Hillary and Mitt, my vote goes to “Willard.” Yes that’s right we are going to put a Mormon in the White House. And why not? As the 4th largest denomination in these United States. Folks in the Uk still think Donny Osmond , “white Bread” and Mormonism are synonymous, but people here are actually seeing the light and they like it! There are more Mormons outside of Utah then there are in.

    As for the Polygamy, Have you seen Mitt’s wife? He doesn’t need it! No, those people of the Warren Steed Jeffs crowd are about as far from Mormonism as one can get. He may try to call himself a Mormon, but that doesn’t mean that he is. I’d like to think I could run this country better than George W., but that doesn’t mean that anyone is calling me Mr. President. Seriously, Polygamy is a “one-way” ticket out of Mormonism! No questions asked!

    A little on Nomenclature.

    Don’t know about “Bringham Young” but I am familiar with “Brigham Young.” Colonizer of the west–tough guy. Great Great Grandson is Steve Young the former superbowl quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers and a practicing Mormon no less.

    Bottom line is–we aren’t electing a cheif theologian–we are electing a Commander in Chief. Mitt’s belief in gold plates is no less strange to an outsider than a Catholic believing he is eating the “literal body of Christ” in wafer form each Sunday.

    Every Religion requires a leap of faith, yours included. A wise man once said, “Fools Mock but They shall Mourn.” The good book says, “Judge Not”–Make sure the Joke is not on you in the end!

  2. Pingback: Elect Romney In 2008 - The Blog! - Mormons for America?

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