Glorious Royal homecoming is soured

HM looking fed up 

From our man holed up inside the Narayanhity Royal Palace in Kathmandu – The loyal subjects of Nepal and royalists worldwide will be relieved to hear that Their Majesties King Gyanendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev and Queen Komal Rajya Laxmi Devi Shah of Nepal have returned safely to the capital from Pokhara today. During their short trip away, the Royal couple apparently performed pooja (don’t ask) at the Baba Gorakhnath temple and at the Bajra Bhairav temple at Upallokot.

Their Majesties will no doubt have mixed feelings on their return to the capital, given the terrible traffic congestion in Kathmandu (oh yes, and the small fact that it would seem most of the inhabitants would like to see them first up against the wall). Indeed, just as they were making their glorious return, it was reported that the Seven Party Alliance (i.e. His Majesty’s not-so-loyal Government) and the Maoist rebels (i.e. murderous brutes) had neared an agreement which would see monarchy in Nepal ‘suspended’ until after the constituent assembly elections and possible referendum to decide the fate of the King next year.

This alarming development will no doubt piss His Majesty off considerably, although quite what effect it would have is unclear. Virtually all His Majesty’s functions have now been usurped either by the Government or the House of Representatives. The people of Nepal should beware, however, that serious international tensions may result if the King’s one last role of felicitating foreign heads of state is stripped from him as well. The RCC waits nervously to report on what comes of this crisis (and our man in the Narayanhity Royal Palace continues to bite his fingernails as he cowers behind the Royal drinks cabinet).

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